Nothing (‘ ‘)

I have been staring blankly since I came in today. It’s unusually quiet in the Kyubikel. I can’t figure out what’s with me today. Everything seems to be moving so slow. What I mean is that it is like somebody pressed the slow motion button and whenever I turn my head around, it’s like I’m in the matrix. This entry will just be about nothing. Everything I write will not make any sense. I just want to write something and let time pass.

Earlier I was staring at my monitor; I suddenly lift my head up and WKA! Willie Revillame(Filipino Artist, if you consider him an artist) is in our office! I couldn’t stop smiling. I just realized that one of our colleague look like him. Now, you might be wondering what WKA stands for. WKA means WAKANGA! I just came across this yesterday when I was chatting with a friend (K). WKA is a Fukien expression (I think) used when surprised like “Holy Cow!”  I haven’t heard of this expression for quite some time. Usually this expression is used by older guys. Moving on to the nothingness lets drift away from the Kyubikel for a while. I was with a couple of friends last weekend. We were talking about the topic of short shorts for the ladies. I hope I won’t get any violent reactions from the ladies out there. This is just something from the nothingness in me. My lady friend (G) and I were discussing up to what age can a lady wear short shorts? I was telling her that like Barney Stinson from “How I met your mother”, there should be a rule on this one. I suddenly thought, when a lady reaches the age of 30, she must add one centimeter on the length of her short shorts each year. What do you guys think? Reasonable or nut? That’s the bad thing when being in the state of nothingness for too long. You just begin to sound insane.

WTF! What’s this thing about Bert and Ernie from Sesame Street being a gay couple? People really don’t have anything else better to do? Just leave them alone. Who cares if they’re gay or not as long as they continue to educate the kids? Leave Sesame Street alone! -"X"

Training

(Photos Later)

My Kyubikel is in training mode. Since last week, I have been attending internal trainings and have even conducted training. What do we do in the training? Well, it’s three excruciating hours of lecture about mechanical, electrical parts, and their so called sales technique. Take note that we have to sign an attendance sheet and it is a video recorded session. We have to be in our best behavior. Otherwise, when the big boss or as I shall call him from now on, “Potato Head” review the game tape, we won’t get shot by his “spudgun” or be greeted with a Happy Mother’s Day (an English translation of Potato Head’s favorite expression “媽的”)! Luckily, the video recorder only takes a certain angle so I always sit in a blind spot. The blind spot is my refuge in the training room. It lets me yawn to almost falling asleep; use my phone to check my mail and other “stuff”(You know what I mean). On the other hand, it is nice to attend the training. It saves me from having to wait for 3 hours before lunch break.  Well, going to have more training for the next few days. I just hope that I won’t fall asleep and at least get to absorb some of the things being discussed.

WTF! Is going on with the weather here? Rain and shine. Hot and Humid. People are getting sick already. I hope it will be winter soon! I’m getting sleepy now, so that’s all for now. I’ll just make up for today next time.  

-"X"

I’m Back!

(Photos Later)

Hey folks! It’s been quite a while. Travelling has made me unavailable for the past weeks. The trip has provided some sanity to the previously mad reality of the Kyubikel. Mind you, the travel was a business trip so it still has something to do with the Kyubikel except that I am not physically in the Kyubikel. Four days I was in Singapore. I have been there before so I thought I would expect the same thing.  First, let me tell you about the preparation. You’d think that booking the hotel’s an easy task. Anyways, the company is paying so no need to worry about staying in Geylang (Remember Geylang, Yam?) but lo and behold, all the hotels were fully booked! I tried Agoda, Asiarooms, and even tried calling the hotels directly. No luck. Alas! “A” found a hotel in Little India. I already expected that it will be a mediocre one but it wasn’t. It was way worse! Imagine a room where when you stretch your hands, you will be able to reach both ends of the room, where the bathroom is smaller than my Kyubikel. Good thing I’m only there to sleep. Surprisingly, most of the staffs are Filipinos, very hospitable. We were told later on that at the corner of the hotel was a funeral place. Eerie!

It was a good thing that it’s summer here in my Kyubikel at least when I was in Singapore, I didn’t feel the difference. Though the weather was the same, I was sweating like I played basketball for two hours. Wanna know the difference why I’m sweating in Singapore? When I’m in the Kyubikel, I just stay in my Kyubikel the whole day! Sitting my fat ass in my air conditioned Kyubikel. I know, I know! Such a lazy ass! Moving on, the saving grace from all the sweating! Hawker food! Loved the chili sauce! I’m not a big fan of spicy food but the chili sauce was just so goooood especially with the dimsum (Thanks, A)! Just thinking about it makes me drool! After having several meals in Singapore, hawker food is still top notch. Sadly, I didn’t try the recommended chili crabs. By the way, we were brought to this tea place at MBS. The menu for tea was so extensive that even if you order one drink a day, you still won’t finish the tea menu in one year! It was an interesting place. The servers were Filipinos as well. Makes you feel like you just went to Manila instead of Singapore.

It was not my first time in Singapore. Hearing people talk about the growth of their population was surprising. Now, population is at 5 million plus. Staggering! Imagine when I was there the last time around 2-3 years ago, population was at 2 million. Despite the population increase, I think Singapore will still be a nice place to live in albeit the high cost of living.

Overall, it was a good trip. It took my mind off all the crazy stuff happening at my Kyubikel. I consider it as a minor reboot of my system. I think I still need a loooooong vacation! Maybe, Palawan? (Calling B!)

Enough about my trip, let’s get to my WTF! Coming back from Singapore, our flight was cancelled. We were moved to a Singapore Airline flight. You must be thinking, you lucky dawg you! Singapore Airlines can be considered as a premier airline. First thing, WTF China Airlines! Cancelling the flight without notifying passengers in advance and their transfer system was crappy! All we got was a meal voucher. That’s not my WTF! The real WTF is when we were about to land; I placed my Ipad in the front pocket of the seat. The flight attended told me that I cannot put my Ipad in the front pocket and I should put it under the seat or in the storage cabin. WTF! When we took off from Singapore, I put my Ipad in the front pocket of the seat and you didn’t warn me.  I don’t find the point of putting it in the storage cabin or under the seat. The “good boy” that I am, I put the Ipad in the storage cabin. Though I slammed the Ipad into the storage cabin and the Flight Attendant got shocked. She was motionless for about 5 seconds. I don’t know the point of that regulation. - "X"

Ring~Hello?

Ring~Ring~

All afternoon I have been making phone calls. I am preparing for a trip hence the phone calls to clients. What’s in a phone call? I am obliged to make a certain amount of phone calls a day. It’s a nice way to connect to clients but it just gets dull at times. You say the same stuff in every phone call. Ask the same questions. Once in a while you get some banter with them but most of the time it’s just pure business. I mainly talk to engineers and surprisingly, they are nice. You’d think that engineers are cocky or rude but they are very warm. The problem with my phone calls is that I talk to different nationalities from Malaysians, Thai, Japanese, Singaporeans, Cambodians, and Vietnamese. Sometimes I’m so messed up that I forget which nationality I’m talking to anymore. You see, each of these countries have their own lingo.  A simple word can be communicated in different ways for each of these countries. So you can imagine talking to a Cambodian then next call is Thai then next is Japanese, it’s quite confusing. Come to think of it, it’s also fun; sometimes you get the accent and the tone. Not to make fun at them but it just gets to you subconsciously. Right now, my spoken English is becoming a mix of everything.  With the lah, can, and whatever foreign word you can think of. Anyways lah, will move on to the next thing, can?

Colonel Sanders!!! It's all your fault!

WTF! Here we go with my WTF for the day. As you now know, I don’t usually have breakfast nor lunch. Today was an exception. WTF! 10:30am and I’m already effin hungry! Hard as I tried, I really didn’t want to have lunch since I’ve been starting to gain weight again. The past weekend all I did was pig out. I can already feel my love handles waiting to be held with the warm touch of an angel. So WTF! What will I do tonight to get rid of the 2 piece chicken, chicken burger, fries, 2 corn on a cob, and 1 milk shake I had at KFC? WTF! Run like Forest Gump and stop being a lazy ass!

Tell you more about my weekend in tomorrow’s entry. – “X”

Fruit of the Day!

Strawberry Krusher from KFC :)

Typewriters

Modern Typewriter.....No Noise!

It was supposed to be a quiet day at the Kyubikel since the boss is not in, instead the typewriter squad is in attack mode. You know those times in the Kyubikel when colleagues are talking on the phone all at the same time? It’s so effing annoying! You can barely hear the person you’re talking to on the other end. Forunately, it’s not one of those days. From this morning until now, all you can hear are the keyboards of the people in the Kyubikel with cracking sounds. It’s like they are crazy mad at their keyboards and wants to stick their fingers through the freaking keyboard. It’s quite irritating and very much comparable to having long nails and scratching the blackboard. Do their fingers weigh like a ton each! Wouldn’t it be funny if you suddenly hear someone in the Kyubikel shout out loud “OUUCCCHHHH! My finger got caught in my keyboard!” Now that would be a sight, a finger through the keyboard! Moving on, I wonder how big the calluses in the fingers of these colleagues of mine are. Imagine 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, 4 weeks a month, that’s too much! Do they think they’re still using the effin’ typewriter! Cluck, cluck, cluck! I feel like my ears are ringing from all the clucking! Good thing the day is about to end and better is that it’s Frenzy Friday but best is that no work for the next two days! Have a happy weekend folks!

Ouch!

WTF moment, what’s my WTF for today? Luckily, none! The day’s not over yet so I’m keeping my fingers crossed. Here’s one WTF but not just for me, The Kyubikel is one week old! I have to say, I’m proud that we lasted one week. I didn’t expect that I will be this diligent in terms of blogging, hahaha! I would like to thank my two little friends who came up with the concept and co – own this blog. Rock on! Great work, B! I’m still waiting for your first post, A! Unleash all your demons! For our guest contributor “V” and would be contributors, keep ‘em coming. Hope we can continue this until we become the dreaded bosses and we will be talking about how lazy ass our employees are!

 To: THE KYUBIKEL

Enough blogging for the day! I’m gonna enjoy my weekend! Till next time you drop by our Kyubikel. Make your weekend count!

No fruit for today coz I ate the damn thing already! Instead, I’ll give you this …..  

Red Chili!

Emails to Ecstasy

Wondering what’s the connection between emails and ecstasy? Well, let me clarify first that I’m not talking about ecstasy as in the hallucinogen nor am I talking about sex emails (you dirty perv! Is there such a thing as sex emails?); I’m talking about ecstasy as in the overpowering emotion. Today an email from a customer gave me ecstasy. That’s how powerful an email can be. I was expecting a normal day and suddenly an email came in. It was from a customer whom I thought had no interest in giving his purchase order to me. But lo and behold, the email contains an attachment bearing the title: contract no.doc. I excitedly opened the file. It was their order. These are the kind of emails you wish to get when you are having an el terrible day at the Kyubikel. Although there are times were an email can also turn one fine day into one forgettable day. It can turn a frown upside down or vice versa. That’s the power of emails in the Kyubikel!

Isn’t it amazing what emails can do to people? One situation can change with just one email. You can get all sorts of emotions with each email you receive. You can get fired through your email. You can get memos. You can receive complaints from customers. That’s enough of the negative emails. As I am trying to practice positive thinking, let’s move on to the good ones. Isn’t it nice when you receive a mail from someone you care about asking you how are you? For me, this is the best one. Right, Yam & Bien? I hope I can receive one soon or maybe a purchase order with a huge amount will do (greedy laugh). So once in a while, email your friends, family, loved ones. I’m talking about caring about them not sending them an email to ask for money. A simple mail can bring a smile to that person’s face. WTF! I’m like a hallmark card!

WTF! Glass Door!

Now, let’s get to my WTF moment of the day! Well, today was a pretty slow day except for my WTF moment of the day which happened this morning! Jolly as I was coming to work (ßsuch a faker) I took the lift to our floor with a couple of colleagues. We timed in our cards and my colleagues went inside and left the door open for me while another colleague was outside calling me and wanted to talk to me. After talking to my colleague, while I was about to go in…………BANG! WTF! I hit myself on the door! Holy Moley! Someone closed the glass door! Good Job, cleaning lady! The glass door is squeaky clean. Shit, it felt like I was in the show Just for Laughs. It really hurt and I had a small bump in my forehead. How’s that for my WTF moment of the day? Enjoy your Moody Thursday! – “X”

Fruit of the Day!

Watermelon Juice!

Another One Bites the Dust

It’s been a while and it’s good to be back! Well, today, another one bites the dust! Before that, I’ll just briefly tell you what happened the past two days. Monday I took a leave so no Kyubikel for me but I opened my company email at home and Another one bites the dust! Again, in less than a month, a colleague resigned. That person hasn’t even stayed for more than 2 weeks. It didn’t come as a surprise anymore given that for the past several months, dozens have said their goodbyes already. It has been a perennial question among us noobs whether who will be next. It has been as exciting as playing the lottery everyday when you come to work. It’s like spin the bottle, where it stops nobody knows. I remember several months back, I had dinner with the noobs, and we were joking around as to who will be the ultimate survivor. Now, among the five of us who had dinner that night, only three left. The question is who will be the ultimate survivor.

While Monday was a busy day, yesterday was a very normal day at the Kyubikel. Getting back to now, another one bites the dust! Doing my morning routine at my Kyubikel, suddenly, an email popped up, another goodbye! You know the phrase “The only permanent thing in this world is change”? Since I’ve been in this Kyubikel, nothing has been constant. Every month you meet new people and every month you say goodbye to others. From time to time, your job scope becomes different. Makes you wonder, is there such a thing as settling down. If all things change, then how can you settle down? I’m not talking about getting married but at what point in our lives will we be able to say that “Now, I am settled. I like where I am and I like what I do.” I hope we don’t have to wait until we’re six feet under with our feet flat together. Is it too much to ask for normalcy? WTF! Enough of the drama! I guess I should just be a man and play with the cards that are dealt. Stop folding! Speaking of WTF! I had the worst WTF moment last Monday. I literally passed out after downing some reds. It has been a while since I last passed out. I was supposed to meet someone at 7pm but WTF! I woke up at 8pm. Felt like an idiot! Really terrible! As consolation despite passing out, I wound up having a good 12 hours sleep. Feel young and rejuvenated again with a bit of regret.  Great times!

To my avid reader (yes, that’s you! you know who you are!), as you know, I have been uploading photos of fruits in my entries, but sadly, no fruit today BUT I have ……

 Fruit of the Day........KIWI!

It’s Wacky Wednesday! Try to go out and have some fun! – “X”

Friday Mornings~

Holy Smokes! It's Friday!

Ain't it great! Waking up to a Friday morning. First thing comes to mind is, Shit! Have to get up now! I have to attend my kyubikel's "Sharing". Just to give you an idea, every Friday morning, my Kyubikel has this thing called "Sharing" where one employee will be assigned to share something or even anything. Open Topic. They call this thing "Knowledge Sharing". For the "Sharing" you have to be at the office 45 minutes earlier than usual. Now back to Friday Morning. This Friday I skipped the "Sharing". I'm still in a tantric ecstasy as my boss is still out of office. Don't you love Fridays?!?!! Makes me think: No work tomorrow! Monday is 2 days away! Can stay up late! (although i can barely keep myself awake past 12 midnight, nowadays, I'm so effin old!) 

While in my Kyubikel, suddenly felt the urge to sing! Since this morning, this song has been playing in my head! Sunday morning rain is falling, steal some covers, share some skin~~~ Been in a happy mood until lunch stole my happy mood! I've been trying to shed a few inches off the gut and been avoiding lunch during weekdays for quite some time now. But from time to time, I'll take some time off from my diet and reward myself with a hearty lunch. Today was one of those days. We went to the nearby local fastfood (for those of you who are "sosyal"/elitists, its one of those places like in malls where you can find lots of food stalls and a big public area for dining). I saw this stall with a very long queue, they were selling noodles, looked so yummmy! I ordered one bowl of Dry Wanton Noodles. Hungry as I was, I happily waited in front of the stall for my noodle. After waiting for a life time, WTF! It still wasn't my turn to get my order! Pissed as I was, I just left and went to our table. Good thing someone was kind enough and offered to share food with me. Well, that's my WTF moment of the day.

Going back to Fridays, tonight will be a fun filled night! Tonight I'll be able to enjoy good company. I'll be doing fun stuff with: Greenie Missie. Badminton Buddies. Greedy Gluttons (Special mention to my bros, yammy, gillibabs, and keki mcgrady). Alcoholic Anonymous (Shoutout to Bry and the missus! Also to Gintot who is MIA). Just piece this all together equals to good times! Cheers! Here's to the night! - "X"

Fruit of FriDay! Grapas!

Welcome to the Start of Nothingness!!!!!

Today we will begin our journey to the fullness of nothingness in the lives of people in the Kyubikel. I got the term nothingness from a friend who was sharing his ideology regarding the human brain. He said that the human brain is divided into several blocks. Each block has a specific purpose for storing memories, knowledge, ideas, and NOTHINGNESS. 

Nothingness is the state of being blank. Empty. Dumbfounded. In the Kyubikel, you often will find yourself in nothingness. Loud noises from other Kyubikels, Phones ringing, Copying machine running, and the one noise that's above all else, the voice of your boss screaming at the top of his lungs, veins popping, vocal chords getting ripped BUT despite all these, you will be in the state of NOTHINGNESS. This is nothingness. Sometimes you will find yourself in a higher level of nothingness. This level of nothingness will put one person in a state of trance, feeling ecstasy. Upon reaching this level, you will be able to attempt and succeed in writing an entry in your blog and if lucky enough to reach the tantric level (this is achieved when the boss is out of office) of nothingness, manage to come up with .....

Ta-dah! A mangapple! Now, that's Nothingness!

Wondering what Kyubikel is? Well, since Cubicle was already taken, us, three little friends who conceptualized this blog, agreed to just spell it as pronounced. Kyubikel focuses on bosses who takes out their frustrations towards his/her employees.  Screaming/shouting at the top of his/her lungs to get what they want. Kyubikel is about the observations and fascinations of the nothingness in the office life of us, three little friends. From time to time you will hear about the obsessions and drama of our Kyubikel. So subscribe, add, follow, or whatever you have to do here in blogger to follow us, three little friends. Here goes.......Welcome to our show!!! -"X"

By the way, if you have your own nothingness to share, hit our comments or email at thecubicle1@gmail.com (Photos are better!)